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Dating when you're 40 or older can be intimidating — unlike when you're in your 20s or 30s, you can't assume everyone your age is single and looking. If you've found yourself "on the market" again, it's important to remember that half of U. Meeting people organically out in public still happens, but sometimes it's easier and less intimidating to meet people where they are. There's a comfort in knowing that the people you find on dating apps are single hopefully and looking for a romantic relationship, so at least you're both on the same .

Name: Carlotta

How old am I: 20

I'd like to try to set something up for the single people in my area, I know they are out there. It's an invisible band of women, they don't complain and they just get on with their lives, but actually it's tough for them. It's a shame men aim for the younger age range because women of 45 and 55 are arguably much more sexually mature and able to give a lot more pleasure than, say, a woman of The author of the Plankton blog sums up the emotional aftermath of her divorce in bleak fashion: "I may live till I am 90, but a sort of death has already come.

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Younger men are nowadays desperate to meet older women, she claims, and she has more men than women looking for love on her site. Single women in their 40s and 50s are increasingly feeling that their love lives are over as men their own age use online dating to cherry-pick younger models. She points to a passage in the book Intimacy by Hanif Kureshi, when his narrator briefly considers the fate of the woman he is leaving: "A lone middle-aged woman with kids doesn't have much cachet.

Online dating leaves middle-aged women in 'single wilderness'

We need to match that energy. The Observer Online dating. Susan Broom, 48, says she has given up on online dating because men her age wouldn't contact her. Susan Quilliam, a relationships expert and agony aunt, said that some women were suffering "terribly".

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But a lot of those men my age are only looking at women in their 20s or 30s. Men in their mids slow down, women are dynamic and full of energy. They are also much more in a rush to get into a new relationship and are much less likely to give someone a second chance, which may seem callous but they are much more likely to fall in love quickly.

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Its research shows that dating is, especially for divorced women, fraught with complication, anxiety and worry. A survey this month found eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. I am already in a wilderness — maybe [facing] my time again, over 40 years, it's possible, but with no one. And that kind of assumption is something which holds a lot of women back, claims Julia Macmillan.

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Looking for second-time love when children are a first priority is a challenge. But life, friendship and love for the single woman in her mids and beyond has its own particular complications and sorrows. A physical event where people actually meet instead of everybody finding online dating a bit of a letdown and just staying home feeling sorry for themselves. Reaching my 50s was an unsettling time, and I felt that my romantic life was over.

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We have a lot of happy matches. W hen a divorced woman on "the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids" began to write about her experiences of being single last week, she opened her blog with the extraordinary statement that she was in "relationship no man's land", condemned to be alone for the rest of her life.

There is a real sense their world has shrunk.

These are the best dating apps for men over 40

Reuse this content. Because of its 'anything is possible', 'sweet-shop' appeal, online dating just encourages men to cherry-pick their ideal — usually younger — mate. For men, it's a case of you fulfil the criteria, let's buy the double duvet.

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Trying to meet people in bars and clubs can feel like a younger person's game, especially when you need a single friend and a babysitter to get there. So it's tough because you also have to get out there and find a new bunch of female mates too, and, of course, they end up being younger than you, and then you worry about going out with them and they'll be getting chatted up and you won't!

But according to many singles, even getting invited to the dinner party can be tricky when people tend to socialise with other couples as they get older and settled into marriages and parenthood.

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Women also report losing friends because of the differences between single and attached lives. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labelled as a "mum". It's hard to meet people, especially in London. Katie Sheppard, the director of relationships at Match. Tracy McVeigh.

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But nor does everyone feel that they will find love on the web. There is a new demographic of confident and experienced women, at their sexual peak as far as science is concerned, who would like to find a partner.

How to start dating again at 40

They have proved themselves, they are good at what they do and at the top of their game. She is on a mission to help women to tackle their something love drought by doing what men do — going younger. Online dating leaves middle-aged women in 'single wilderness'. She will, unfortunately, become the recipient of sympathy.

Men confess: 22 reasons why younger guys fall for older women

And they will have got where they are in their careers by juggling far fewer balls on the way up. An unhappy pattern for plus women who want a new partner. Susan Broom is a bubbly woman with a ready laugh who is 48, single, and has now given up actively looking for a man, certainly online, and is not afraid to admit that she does feel the sadness of that.

And in a real way — not just in a 'singledom rocks' way. At dinner parties divorced men will be placed next to her. Which is depressing if you're a woman of a certain age. There are rewards, however, for remaining single, says Kate Grussing, the founder of the management consultancy firm Sapphire Partners, who believes single, childless women in their 40s and 50s have huge advantages at work.

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Studies across all cultures and nations have shown a consistent trend for men to have younger partners. Single parents describe themselves as lonely, isolated, vulnerable and worthless. She said: "Reaching 50 really does change the way you're regarded by society. Macmillan, 49, has set up toyboywarehouse. The anonymous woman, whose blog is called The Plankton, is not alone in believing that there are problems specific to being a single woman in middle age.

Our battle is to change women's mindset and get women to believe that there are younger men who want what they are, experienced, strong-willed, confident. Nicola Lamond, Netmums spokeswoman and mother, said: "Being a single parent can be pretty tough. Women and men are living longer and fitter lives; the average age at which we divorce is rising — 41 now for women and 43 for men — and the of single parents is projected to rise to 1.

I prefer men of my own age.

Best dating sites and apps for people over 40 — and which ones to avoid

But when did confidence and sexual maturity become so unattractive? When actress Lynda Bellingham, 62, met her third husband, Michael Pattemore, in she assumed "he wouldn't fancy me".

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Because quite often it really doesn't.

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Jason Momoa and wife Lisa Bonet made headlines last week when Momoa recalled how he was a "nervous wreck" when he initially asked Bonet out on a date.

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You probably started dating back when people met at bars or got set up on blind dates or just settled for their classmates or coworkers, got married in their 20s, had a couple kids by 35 and then got divorced.