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So, no sex while standing or woman-on-top if you mean business. So if you and your partner are ready to start your family, read on:. Yes, you need to have sex to have babies. Step 1 of this method is understanding how your body works.

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Women want sex just as much as men do, and this drive is "not, for the most part, sparked or sustained by emotional intimacy and safety. When it comes to rethinking instigation, young heterosexuals could do well to learn from gays and lesbians.

How strong is the female sex drive after all?

And what is at the heart of that answer? From the workplace to the university, women are far more willing to move into traditionally male spaces and adopt traditionally male behaviors than men are to do the reverse.

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The Atlantic Crossword. Taylor Lorenz.

To say that women want sex and are afraid of being slut-shamed while men want sex but are afraid of being rejected falsely posits that these are equally consequential experiences. Are men ready to cope with the reality of heterosexual women's horniness?

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That's easier said than done; as Friedman notes in her article, the data suggests that even among the young, a ificant majority of both men and women think it's the job of men to make the proverbial "first move. To continue Atik's baseball imagery, it's only very recently that women have even begun to be allowed to compete as equals on the sexual playing field; the rules of the game are still written largely for the benefit of men.

The evidence suggests we aren't, at least not yet. The broad and enthusiastic coverage of What Do Women Want — Amanda Hess at Slate and Ann Friedman at The Cut are nearly as swept away as Clark-Flory—suggests a collective cry of relief: At last, irrefutable evidence that women are so much more like men, and so much more full of erotic potential, than we had ever admitted.

So suggests a new book that shatters many of our most cherished myths about desire, including the widespread assumption that women's lust is inextricably bound up with emotional connection. Popular Latest. As Liza Mundy pointed out last month, same-sex couples have much to teach straights about how to have a happier marriage.

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If he's right, and the formidable data he marshals suggests he is, then our sexual scripts need to shift to accommodate this new reality for everyone's sake. It is those insecurities and the specter of the violence into which those insecurities sometimes erupt that keep men from having their sexual desires fulfilled.

Margaret Atwood's famous remark that "men are afraid that women will laugh at them; women are afraid that men will kill them" clarifies that distinction nicely. That explanation appeals, but it also rests on a false assumption that the risks of playing "instigator" are equal for both sexes.

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Women want sex far more than we've been allowed to believe. The research suggests that though both men and women struggle to extricate themselves from traditional gender roles, women are generally doing a much better job of it than are men.

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Though some women surely still want to play at passivity while men protect, provide, and perform, plenty more women want another "p" word: partners. The "catch" in which women find themselves is largely a result of men's fear of being unable to perform up to women's expectations—and to satisfy desires that men have only just begun to realize are as intense and earthy as their own. As real as men's anxiety about being "shot down" might be, it's hardly comparable to women's equally justifiable fear of rape.

In her reviewSalon 's normally hyperbole-averse Tracy Clark-Flory was beside herself: "This book should be read by every woman on earth," she writes; "the implications are huge.

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Freud's famous question, "What do women want? Flexible, unintimidated, and as Bergner shows playful partners in the bedroom, in the kitchen, and in public life. It's not, of course, as if feminism, or Internet porn, or any other feature of modernity has suddenly created desires that never ly existed. Both men and women need to overcome what Atik calls their "wishy-washiness," and be willing to deal with the discomfort that comes from stepping outside of prescribed gender roles.

Turns out women have really, really strong sex drives: can men handle it?

Yet acknowledging that women are as horny as men if not hornier isn't enough to guarantee equality, just as the recognition that women are increasingly adept at breadwinning doesn't ensure pay equity. In his just-released What Do Women Want?

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As this new book shows, women's desires are fully equal to men's—and equally confined by men's maddening unwillingness to abandon the useless sexual scripts they themselves have written. Rather, as Bergner and his researchers show, science is finally asking the right questions about what women want, perhaps because enough of us are ready to hear the answer.

If Bergner is right, men's and women's libidos are far more similar than ly imagined. Bergner profiles the work of a series of sexologists, all of whom have, after a series of fascinating studies with animal and human subjects, come to what is essentially the same conclusion.

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Bergner's work puts what may be the last nail in the coffin of the old consensus that women use sex as a means to get something else they really want, such as enduring monogamous emotional intimacy and the goods and safety that come in marriage with a protector and provider.

Adventures in the Science of Female Desire journalist Daniel Bergner suggests that when it comes to acknowledging just how much women lust, we've passed the point of no return. Too many men are still stuck in the "provide, protect, and perform" model that requires women to be passive, focused more on pleasing than on their own pleasure.

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Daniel Bergner, a journalist and contributing editor to the New York Times Magazineknows what women want--and it's not monogamy.

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